


Final Thoughts

by TinyB84



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 08:51:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2422634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyB84/pseuds/TinyB84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael Jones just wanted to be free</p>
            </blockquote>





	Final Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first acheivement hunter fic, sorry if it sucks im not that good of a writer. I had this idea and i just had to write it.

You wont know it by watching his videos online, but Michael Jones was severely depressed. He’d been hospitalized for trying to kill himself in the past. He went to shrinks and meetings where other people with his “condition” talked about it for an hour a week. Nothing he did seemed to get the pain to go away, until he started cutting himself. 

It happened on a sunny afternoon sometime in May. Michael had just finished editing the video he was working on, turned to his boss and told him he was going to lunch. He went in to the kitchen and pulled out his sandwich from the fridge. He got a knife and cut his sandwich down the middle. If Michael had been paying attention he would've noticed that he put his thumb in the way of the blade.

“Fuck.” Michael half shouted half whispered as the pain set in, but it was a different kind of pain than he was used to dealing with. He found himself liking the way he felt.

“You alright Michael?” Ray asked having come out to get a drink. 

“Yeah,” Michael said shaking his head to clear his mind “Just cut myself a little.” He put the knife in the sink and proceeded to clean out the cut so as to not get an infection. He took his sandwich and went back to the office to eat his lunch while starting on his next video.

“Hey Mi-cool” The british voice caught Michael off guard, he hadn't noticed that Gavin's face was right next to him until the younger lad had said something.

“Jesus Gavin, you scared the shit out of me.” Michael said scooting away slightly so that Gavin wasn't directly nest to his face.

“Sorry, you weren't answering and I just wanted to see if you were alright.” Gavin said, concern evident in his voice.

“I'm fine Gavin, just a little distracted by the cut I gave myself,” Michael said as he showed Gavin his thumb.

“Oh my god mi-cool, are you okay?” Gavin reached for his boi’s hand and proceeded to try and make it better, but he only managed to make the cut open up again. What Gavin hadn't noticed was the far off look Michael got as the pain flooded in again. 

“Does it hurt mi-cool?” Gavin asked, pulling Michael back to the current.

“Not much, just a small dull ache at this point.” He said pulling his hand back to wipe away the small trickle of blood that was slowly working its way to his wrist. 

The rest of the day passed by without any further incidents. Michael saved his work gathered up his things and headed towards the door. When he got home Michael dumped his stuff on the couch and headed into the kitchen to grab a beer. An hour and several beers later, Michael found himself staring at his tv wondering when he started feeling so alone all the time. The longer he sat there, the more he started slipping away from he world around him.

Remembering how good the feeling of the knife was earlier he wanted to see if it could pull him out of the darkness that was encroaching on him constantly. He got to his feet and made his way to the kitchen. He pulled open the knife drawer and found the sharpest one he could. He held it up and watched as the shiny metal reflected the light around. 

Michael pulled up his left sleeve an lowered the blade to his upper forearm. He applied pressure and pulled the blade across his skin. His breath caught in his throat as the pain started to register, he pulled the blade away and watched the blood trickle down his arm. 

From that moment on anytime the darkness started creeping in on Michael, he pulled out a small pocket knife out and give himself a cut. It worked for a while, some days he could get away with one or two small cuts. On days when the darkness was almost crippling, it could take up to ten cuts for it to go away.   
Every so often there would be days were no matter what Michael did, the darkness wouldn't go away. Michael couldn't take it any longer, he just wanted the darkness to end. He went to his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write. He didn't know hat he was going to say when he began, then suddenly he thought of how sad Gavin would be after he was gone and that gave him a place to start.

When he was done he folded it up and wrote “For the Achievement Hunters” on the front of it. He put it on the counter and went to the knife drawer for the last time. He grabbed the knife and looked at it for just a moment. When he was certain there was nothing else he could do to get rid of the darkness, he put the blade to his wrist and pushed down hard at the same time he pulled it toward him. The blood started flowing heavily and Michael sat down on the cool tile of the kitchen floor and closed his eyes. For the first time he welcomed the darkness like and old friend. He knew this was the last time he would ever feel like this, so alone. In a few short moments he would be free.

While he was waiting for oblivion to take him under, he briefly thought of Gavin. “I'm sorry Gavin, but this was the only way” he said as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Michael lost consciousness a few seconds later.

The next day at work Gavin walked into the office and could tell something wasn't right. Michael wasn't at his desk and Geoff had a look of pure horror on his face.

“Whats going on?” Gavin asked Geoff as he slowly walked over to the older man. Geoff didn't respond right away, instead he pulled the younger lad into a tight embrace and started crying softly fighting to get the words out.

“M-Michael…” was all that Goeff could get out before he started crying again. Gavin pulled away slightly to look at the older man with tears in his own eyes threatening to fall.

“Geoff, what about Michael?” He could barely get his voice to work when he got to his bois name.

“Michael passed away last night.” Geoff said in between sobs, tears falling faster now.

“N-no, what happened. We just saw him yesterday.” Gavin was fully crying by the end of the sentence. Geoff couldn't bring himself to tell his basically adopted son that Michael had killed himself. Instead he led Gavin over to the couch sat him down and walked back over to his desk to receive the letter that had been addressed to the Achievement Hunters. Just before he got to the couch Ryan, Ray, and Jack came rushing in to the room.

“Is it true?” Ray asked in the most scared voice anyone had ever heard. Geoff could find the strength to talk yet, so he simply nodded in response. Ray fisted his hands in his hair and st down next to Gavin, slowly rocking back and forth. Jack and Ryan both grabbed their chairs and pulled them over to the couch. 

“They found a note on his counter addressed to The Achievement Hunters. I haven't read it yet, I don’t think I can.” Geoff said in a low voice just barely audible.

“I’ll read it.” Ryan offered, unshed tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. Geoff wordlessly handed the note to Ryan. He opened it and began to read it to the rest of the Hunters.

“To who it may concern. By the time you read this I will no longer be suffering in this world. I will be free of the darkness that constantly looms over my head. Gavin,” The lads head shot up at the mention of his name. “That day when I cut my thumb, you asked me if I was all right. I lied that day, I haven't been all right in a long time. For the first time in a long time though, I can honestly say that I'm all right. I'm sorry, to all of you, for not telling you, but no one truly understands the way I feel. Even though I basically had a second family in you guys, I felt so alone and that darkness that consumed me just wouldn't go away no matter what I did. To my second family and best friends, I'm finally free.”


End file.
